There's just nothing like seeing Al Gore speak in person. No one, and we mean "no one" can carry a room like Al. We've made a few of these available to all you wonderful people using Al internet. In the future look for audio downloads of the speeches.

7-24-00   Read Al Gore's Speech on the Assassination of Martin Luther King
7-17-00   Al Gore Speech on Television and Music

Martin Luther King Speech

Tampa, FL - Today my brother and sisters I walk among you instead of around you. For I have something I must get off my mind and know I believe is the time and the place. It pains me deeply to tell all of you here today that it was me that kill Martin Luther King. I know many of you will find this hard to believe but yes, I did do it. The only reason I even bring it up is because the Republican congress threatened to tell the media but I wanted to be the one to say it. It pains me deeply but I to say this, but at that point of my life I hated all Negro's of color. You have to understand that I was brought up in a strong Southern home and I was taught to enslave all blacks in the name of Christ. So I decided that I would become the first white leader of the NAACP. However Martin Luther King being a racist man himself stepped in the way so I decided that he must be dealt with. The rest of the story you already know. I am deeply sorry to the Nation, to the family of Martin Luther King and also to the crazy cracker they locked up. In closing I would like to add that it wasn't race that made me want to kill Martin Luther King, instead it was a mistake. You see I actually wanted to kill the "King" of Rock n' Roll. However I got the two confused and decided that it was probably for the best. Plus I got Elvis later, but that a story for another time. In closing I would like to say to all the black voters, just because I killed MLK don't think I'm a bad man. All white people are crazy cracker motherfuckers that hate everyone. I went with my feelings at a young age and now I feel better. And if you know what's good for you, you'll do as I say.

Thank You to everyone that showed up.

Al Gore Speech on Television and Music

Kansas City, MS - As everyone know by now, I have always been a big fan of 1970's Porno Music. Also I have always been a big fan of 1970's Porno's. That's why I believe that American children and greatly benefit from watching and listening to Porno's as it stimulates not only the body, but the mind. Once I obtain office I plan to ensure that all school libraries are fully stacked a large supply of Porno's and Live Webcams of women's prisons.

Now some may argue that this will destroy the morals of our children. However I state that their morals where destroyed long ago and the only good girl is bad girl, the only good man is a black man, the only good queer is a dead queer, 2 plus 2 is 4 and I say open the door, knock, knock, how there, you ain't wearing no underwear. However I didn't come here to tell knock, knock jokes.

I came here to talk about the "Do-Nothing-For-The People-Jew-Run-Media". Did you know there were no Jews on the Dukes of Hazards, yet Senfied had many of them. Look at the Flinstones, no Jews - South Parks = Jews. They are everywhere and must be stopped before they expand past their Canadian borders. But I didn't come here to talk about Jews.

I came here to talk about ME. That's right, ME. You see it's ME that invented the Internet; it's me that saved the tree in your back yard. It's me that saved your Grandmother from Cancer and it's about time you paid me back America.

So Join Me as I continue my campaign on America the beautiful.

Thank You,
Have a Nice Day.